fetus

This week marks the week that the embryo becomes a fetus! Crazy. He/She is the size of a green olive, apparently.

Sean's flight just arrived from Denver and he is in a cab RIGHT NOW, coming home!!! We have our first appointment tomorrow and I can't wait to find out if we can hear a heartbeat or see a picture.

So glad the day has finally come.

sweet tooth

I haven't had any cravings to speak of thus far- in fact, I've been more inclined to eat things that are simple and boring- with no flavor. You know, like crackers, yogurt, pasta, broccoli.

But the sweets. Oh, the sweets. I guess I've wanted more of all things sugary lately.... We don't typically keep sweets in the house so I don't eat them regularly- unless it's movie night or in the form of a chai tea latte- then yes, please.

The last couple of weeks though, I've wanted chocolate milk, ice cream, and 3 Musketeers bars... not good, I know.  I've been restraining myself, but it's hard. Thankfully I haven't gained any weight- yet.

You know what else I've wanted lately? To listen to country music.  I know, it's weird. I think the longer I reside outside of Texas, the more I want to listen to it. Country music has changed a lot since I was a kid- definitely more poppy now, but I have to say, I'm getting back into it.

On today's playlist? Sugarland. Appropriate, huh? Also, I'm making homemade cookies right NOW.

air quality: orange

I think I'm becoming a little obsessed about breathing now that I'm pregnant.  DC is super hot, and it's only the beginning of June. This week on NPR they've been saying that the air quality could be harmful for children and the elderly- and I immediately think to myself, "how can I breathe in only what's necessary and not so much as to harm this little embryo?"

On my walk to the metro, I've been getting stuck behind folks who are enjoying their morning smoke.  Frustrated that I have to walk behind and breathe in their exhaled smoke, I've decided to pretty much speed walk (well, run- a little) until I can pass them up.  I'm sure I look a bit nutso because I always slow down as soon as I get in front of them. 

A couple days this week I've come home and slept for almost 3 hours. And then I go to bed at 10PM.  Given that I haven't felt many symptoms of being pregnant, this excess sleeping makes me wonder if I really am tired or if I'm just lazy.  

I've been dealing with some fears this week, too.  About having something go wrong. Like I said, (thankfully), I haven't had many symptoms- like morning sickness, etc.- but that makes me wonder if everything is actually progressing and going well, you know? I still have two weeks until the first doctor's appointment.  I'm trying to just trust that God has prepared us for this and that all will be well.  It's hard not having Sean here- not being able to share with him when my anxiety creeps up...  We are able to talk everyday, but I often prefer to hear what's going on with him and work and we don't end up talking about baby stuff.     

15 years later and I'm still living and learning to have faith in the One who created ALL things. 

week six

Feeling tired. Got up at six. Emailed work letting them know I'd be staying home sick and went back to bed. Didn't wake up until Noon. Is that normal?

I spent the weekend in Chicago visiting friends, attending a farm wedding, and seeing Sean after 3 weeks apart! We had a great time.  I think all the traveling has made me tired, though. And all I can think about is the fact that I still have 6 trips (5 domestic & 1 international) to go in the next four months.  Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

So, week six of being pregnant.  Over the last few days, I haven't really felt pregnant- besides being overly tired, I guess? I think immediately after getting the take home test results, something in my psyche led me to believe that I actually felt different.  Now that it's been a couple weeks and that shock has worn off, I'm getting a little worried that I don't feel anything.  I guess it's normal to wonder, huh? Perhaps I should be thankful because I haven't had morning sickness yet, as far as I can tell. I was having a little weird stomach thing over the weekend, but it basically just felt like I was really full or bloated. Gross word, I know.  And, over the last two days, I haven't even felt hungry.

Really counting down the days until 23 June. That's our first appointment. I'll be 9 weeks along by then. Hopefully they'll be able to do an ultrasound while we're there since Sean is flying in for the appointment. It would really stink if they wanted to wait until July (when he'll be back in Colorado).

OK, off to grab some Pho with a friend.  Sounds yummy even though it's 95 degrees outside already... looks like we're in for one.hot.summer.

um, yeah..... so, i ramble.

OK. Truth time: doing the long-distance marriage thing really stinks. Wait, let me re-phrase: doing the long-distance marriage thing and being newly pregnant really stinks.  PTL for Skype, y'all. Luckily, Sean and I have been able to talk pretty much every night, but I still miss him. Tomorrow we're meeting up in Chicago to attend a friend's wedding over the weekend. Super excited!! We're staying with one of our favorite couples and will surely have an amazing time.

Feeling really thankful today, despite realizing that we are seriously living on the edge financially.  Most of our debt is in school at the moment, but it still hangs over my head, wondering how the heck we're going to afford doctor's appointments and all the things you have to buy for a baby.  The "things" buying part could be a really slippery slope for me... I mean, I went nuts when my sister was pregnant.  Every time I saw something cute, I had.to.have.it. Also, while traveling for work over the last year, I may or may not have bought children's books as souvenirs. [Cough, cough.]

Anyway, can't worry about what's already in motion, right? Sean told me tonight that he'd really like to come out to DC in June for our first doctor's appointment.  I am sooooo excited about that. Luckily, I have enough airline miles, so hopefully he'll be able to find a decent ticket, for free!

The last couple of days I've been feeling... Emotionally: stable and a little energetic. Physically: sleepy around 4:30PM, sore balloons (as my Memaw used to call them), sweaty, & intermittently crampy- but not on one side or anything, believe me- I've been googling whether or not it's normal.  Awesome, huh? Bet you wanted to know all those details. [Sorry if it's TMI- I'm writing this to myself at the moment, more for my own memory.]

Speaking of memory! I think I might be starting to develop that "pregnancy brain" thing.  I mean, seriously, you should see me in meetings at work- I sound ridiculous. I've had to pause on more than two, three, OK, maybe five occasions over the last two days and ask for forgiveness from my colleagues.

the red line

Sean took the car to Colorado. What this means it that my commute to work has suddenly gone from a 10 minute / 4 mile driving commute to a 55 minute / metro & walking commute. And listen, it's OK, I'm all about making sacrifices to allow my husband a professional growth opportunity.  Heck, it's actually perfect that I'm newly pregnant and being forced to walk for at least 40 minutes a day.

What I have a problem with is the weird stuff that can happen to you while commuting on public trans.  Given my social work background, my encounters with DC's mentally ill don't bother me so much.  Of course, it can be awkward. When Alvin boarded the empty train, sat down next to me and asked me my name, I didn't mind.  Sure, I lied and instinctively responded "Heather," but that's not the point. When Alvin told me to respond to him by saying, "Hi, Alvin," I didn't mind- in fact, I obliged.

What bothers me are the encounters that happen with people who don't actually realize that they are having an "encounter." 

Take for example, today. Again, a nearly empty train.  I'm sitting in a seat that faces outwards, near the door.  There's a metal pole slightly in front of me, in the middle of the rail car for people to use when they are required to stand due to no available seating.  So, what happens when we stop at Metro Center you ask?

Well, Dude walks on, stands one foot from my face and holds onto that support bar like there's nowhere else to stand or sit on the whole train. Now folks, I understand when the train is packed and you are forced to have a little uncomfortable contact with strangers. Did I mention the train was nearly empty? Did I mention that Dude stood facing towards me? Yeah, so my eyes were basically one foot from his personal business. Ick. I sat in awe (turning my head from left to right) for about two stops wondering if he was staring at something important over my head.  I got to the point where I was feeling so awkward that I decided to get up and stand myself. Once I stood up, guess what Dude was starring at? Oh, you know, nothing. Just the blank wall of the rail car. 

Three stops later, Dude finally exited. At my stop.  I let him go ahead.    

  

becoming a book worm

This weekend was my first, alone, without Sean.  Given that he won't be back in DC until the end of July, I tried to get myself started on a routine that will keep me busy.  Even so, I miss him! Weekends are going to be tough.

Yesterday I went walking for about an hour and then hung out at Rock Creek Park to soak in some vitamin D. While I enjoyed the sunshine, I got pretty deep into one of the pregnancy books I've been reading.  It's crazy how much literature is out there, and how much advice people have to give.  Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful; I literally don't know much about what's supposed to happen and really appreciate being able to educate myself (without becoming too anxious about whether or not I am doing the right things or not). Thankfully, my sister just went through this too, so she has been great and letting me know what to expect. Here's a sneak at my current reading list:

These have been great so far. The Dummies book is a little outdated.  Sean bought it about 3 years ago at a book sale in Chicago for $7; we laughed at how perfect it was for us.  The Mother book is a really practical, step-by-step guide and provides a pretty objective presentation about what to expect.  Right now, I'm most engaged in the Feed book.  It's written by a nutritionist, and although she can be somewhat slanted at times, I really appreciate her direct approach about what foods pregnant women should be eating.  And instead of leaving the reader hanging about how to move forward with healthy eating habits, she's included a bunch of recipes for tasty meals that provide the nutrients you need.  The most practical help though, has been the list of things not to eat.  I had no idea that you had to watch out for certain foods during pregnancy!! (Note to self: probably should give the Dummies book another skim through.)

Anyway, today I've got to go buy some wheat germ. Sounds gross, huh? Apparently it's packed with really good stuff for you and your baby, like folic acid and choline.  I'm planning on sprinkling it on my PB&J sandwiches, but you can also cook it into breads, muffins, cakes, etc.  I've decided that I'm going to try and not get too obsessive about what I am, and am not, putting into my body (besides the major things of course, like caffeine).  I just want to be sure that I am being smart and providing the best environment possible for this little embryo.

Emotionally: excited, hopeful, cautious, a little stressed about work stuff & a bit lonely, missing Sean- wishing he was here during this time. Physically: bloated, sorry- TMI, really tired in the mornings, & I've had a runny nose since last week! The Mother book says that this is common- that the mucus membranes in your nose can swell when your body starts to produce more blood.  Hopefully this wont last for 9 months!